Care for them, they’ll care for you

Spice it up with some humour

“Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I’ve never quit a job.” I stumbled upon this witty joke recently as I was flipping through the pages of a book on workplace humour.

I love mixing with witty and funny people, but am simply put off by those who are overly serious and hyper-sensitive and have no sense of humour.

Sad to say, many workplaces are devoid of humour as business owners and workers are too busy and uptight to see the funny side of life. An HR manager of a major corporation told me her colleagues are so stretched they can’t have fun anymore. Her assessment is that they’re probably afraid to cross the line for fear of being terminated, so they don’t want to do anything to stand out. “They just want to fly under the radar,” she explains. What she means is that people aren’t laughing and you don’t hear joking or fun within the cubicles.

Welcome to our increasingly staid workplaces where humour is fast being replaced with sharp sarcasm, anger, sadness, impatience and rudeness. For some strange reasons, people seem to be dead serious these days. It looks like tough economic times and the perpetual threat of layoffs in the name of corporate re-engineering and rightsizing are gnawing away at our collective funny bone. Maybe tough times on top of a growing culture of political correctness in our boring workplaces have stifled laughter.

Productivity suffers

Our seemingly sedate and humourless work environment with a strait-laced sense of propriety is bad for productivity, creativity and workers’ general well-being. It’s natural for people to tighten up during tough times, but they also need to lighten up sometimes to counter any form of bad news which seems to grow by the day.

A healthy, positive sense of humour at the right place and time is said to promote success at work. My observation is the amount or type of humour in any given workplace often depends on the corporate culture.

In workplaces that are less hierarchical and more innovative, people tend to be more open with their humour which will in turn encourage even those who aren’t always comfortable sharing their humour to do so. Eventually the use of humour becomes second nature to everyone in such a relaxed environment.

If humour is good for productivity, creativity and workers’ general well-being, why do some people hold back their sense of humour? I’ve noticed people tend to tone down their humour, often hoping to be taken more seriously. Yet, this can backfire as people who take themselves too seriously are often, ironically, taken less seriously by those around them.

Still there’re some people who are afraid to show their funny side for fear of offending others or that their jokes aren’t funny at all. Lack of time could also be another dampening factor for others. They simply don’t know how to bring humour into their busy work life, so they end up being too serious and rigid.

Employees are generally more comfortable showing their funny side to colleagues rather than to their bosses. The reason is obvious: you face a higher risk factor when joking around with your boss because you just don’t know how your sense of humour may be received.

Many managers, especially introverts, don’t know how to safely encourage the use of humour at work and are unsure how to express it in their own management style. Whatever your reasons, you may want to work on injecting more humour into your workday, and trust me, things will surely look up for you.

The old saying “everybody loves a comedian” has regretfully created a society where everybody thinks he or she is a comedian. Just in case you’re not aware, this often-quoted line has a sarcastic twist to it – not everybody is a good comedian.

Not all humour is good 

We all love good humour, but not all humour is good. Humour – to be more precise, the type and timing – can be either a boon or bane to you. It can improve your office relationships or ruin them. It’s an easy way to break the ice with people, and minimise job stress and improve employee productivity and creativity, but telling inappropriate or offensive jokes – particularly to the wrong audience and at the wrong time – can land you in hot water, or worse still, in court too.

It’s quite easy to get a laugh but it’s crucial to distinguish the difference between a compliant chuckle and a sincere chortle. Distasteful or inappropriately timed humour can be a significant liability at the workplace.

Not all jokes are appropriate for the workplace. So what is okay and what is not? Most topics are generally acceptable for jokes as long as they aren’t deemed offensive by others. Before you start cracking people up with your humour, ask yourself if your jokes are likely to put them at ease or cause them discomfort. If you feel your jokes might potentially anger or offend anyone, it’s probably best to keep them to yourself or if you simply can’t but need to share them, please do it with your spouse or buddy – maybe he or she will be more understanding.

You should also limit jokes to appropriate times. For example, certain jokes are great at bachelors’ parties or your favourite pub, but they might be out of place and inappropriate during a conference call or management meeting.

Jokes that are a no-no

Certain jokes are unacceptable at work and these include jokes on race, religion, sex and disabilities. In some instances, lewd jokes could be considered a form of harassment, particularly if you’re singling out a particular colleague in the joke. Jokes that are violent in nature are also inappropriate, as your peers may not see humour in that type of subject matter.

Steer clear of political jokes as they can cause unease as not everyone at your workplace holds the same political beliefs. Such jokes are better suited for your downtime outside of work and sharing among close friends.

Never try to force your humour, as your colleagues will see that you’re trying too hard. The best humour is the type that comes naturally. Make sure you aren’t violating any workplace policies or that people won’t become angered or offended. Be careful when incorporating sarcasm into conversations, as not everyone is able to tell that you’re joking and may be displeased.

Remember, everybody loves a comedian but not everyone is a comedian. You need to be careful when using humour at work. It can be a double-edged sword – it can slice through the toughest of situations to your advantage, or cut sharply against you.

When humour is used to appropriately ease a burden or relieve tension at work it’s greatly appreciated, but when your rapier wit is used as a weapon of humiliation or intimidation you are confusing humour with arrogance. Spice up your management and leadership with some good humour but don’t go overboard. Happy managing!

Sorry is NOT the hardest word

A top executive once asked me whether a manager should apologise after making a mistake. His manager who had clearly made a mistake refused to apologise, ostensibly on the grounds that an apology was an admission of guilt and possibly of an inability to adequately perform his job, and therefore should be avoided whenever possible.

Admitting your mistakes is not a sign of weakness. It shows you’ve the courage to know you are wrong and that you’ve become stronger. If a manager has made a mistake, retaining the respect of his team and peers is contingent on his willingness to accept responsibility for his mistake, directly, to the people affected. To ignore responsibility for his mistake, or worse to blame it on others, could be perceived as weak and disingenuous.  A manager who habitually refuses to accept responsibility but adopts a “teflon” attitude will never be a good leader. Ultimately, he’ll never be trusted by those with whom he works.

Managers should never be afraid to admit their mistakes. Even great leaders admit their mistakes and take responsibility for them. An oft-quoted example is that of late US President John F Kennedy, who made the mistake on the advice of others of the Bay of Pigs debacle. After the failed invasion of Cuba embarrassed the US and the Kennedy Administration, Kennedy’s advisers told him to blame intelligence agencies for giving him improper information.

Rather than take that advice, however, Kennedy famously said: “There’s an old saying that victory has a hundred fathers and defeat is an orphan … Further statements, detailed discussions, are not to conceal responsibility because I’m the responsible officer of the government …”

So what’s the big deal about apologies? Management, just like love, means having to say you’re sorry. This phrase, of course, is the antithesis of the famous “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” based on a line from the novel and 1970 film Love Story.

Though the line proved memorable, it has also been criticised or mocked for suggesting that apologies are unnecessary in a love relationship.

Well, as you may have already guessed, I’m totally with the critics. I think the phrase is probably the dumbest thing ever said, to which legendary singer-songwriter John Lennon, a founding member of The Beatles, offered a contrary version: “Love means having to say you’re sorry every five minutes.”

You may ask, “What’s love got to do with management?” Yes, both involve people and relationships. Some even argue that management means never having to say you’re sorry, which is obviously adapted from the Love Story phrase. Again, I’m highly critical of that view!

Heartfelt apologies 

Far too many corporations have messed up again and again. While some offer heartfelt apologies and move on – often successfully – others appear incapable of admitting they've stumbled. Confronted with their silly mistakes, management too often apologises only for having upset the public or customers, not for the mishap itself; or they pad their apologies with obfuscation.

The BP oil spill saga is an example of the latter. The US government seemed to have understated the problem and ceded responsibility to BP. BP seemed to have acted to protect the Macondo oilfield rather than the Gulf of Mexico and the Gulf Coast.

Neither BP nor the US government seemed prepared for such an event. Both should have had an understanding of the potentially catastrophic ramifications of an accident and, more importantly, an ability to shut off the flow of oil – to minimise the damage – as is the case with rigs operating in the North Sea.

One of BP’s greatest mistakes was by CEO Tony Hayward, who failed miserably. He wallowed in self-pity, saying, “What the hell did we do to deserve this?” and then infamously said:  “I want my life back.”

Secondly, he was in denial, saying: “The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean. The amount of volume of oil and dispersant we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total water volume.” He followed up later, saying: “I think the environmental impact of this disaster is likely to be very, very modest.”

Thirdly, he was arrogant and insensitive, saying, “I’m a Brit, I can take it,” which incensed the Americans, especially after he assured them he slept well at night. Finally, he showed misjudgement in declaring, “I don’t feel my job is on the line.” And, of course, he eventually lost his job.

What Hayward did and didn’t do – apologise and be remorseful about the tragedy – caused more harm than good. Had he acted otherwise, things would have turned out very differently and he could still be BP CEO today!

Experts say apologies that lack real regret or responsibility sow more distrust between businesses and the public. Take the case of Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, who issued a classic non-apology after the social-media giant performed psychological experiments on users without their express consent. “It was poorly communicated,” Sandberg said. “And for that communication we apologise. We never meant to upset you.”

A close reading suggests Sandberg wasn’t sorry for conducting the experiment – she apologised only for poor communication. A more recent flawed apology came from Uber CEO Travis Kalanick after a deputy suggested the company dig up dirt on journalists. Kalanick took 14 tweets to get to a sort-of apology – and even then, he earned low marks for sincerity.

Fine job of apologising 

Not all corporations are guilty of messing up after mistakes. Many have done a fine job of apologising and one is premier toy company Mattel. In 2007, Mattel recalled millions of toys due to product-safety concerns. 

Its Fisher-Price subsidiary recalled almost one million Chinese-made toys because of potential hazards from parts of toys coloured using lead-based paint that exceeded US federal limits, in certain cases by 180 times. Children who suck on or ingest toys with a high lead content may be poisoned, leading to learning and behavioural problems, and even death.

Mattel also recalled over 18 million products because they could endanger children due to the use of strong magnets that may come loose. Strong, small magnets could be dangerous to children if two or more are ingested, attracting each other in the intestines and causing damage.

Mattel CEO Robert Eckert quickly apologised, saying: “We were let down and so we let you down.” Its executive vice-president for worldwide operations Thomas Debrowski travelled to Beijing and took full responsibility for the magnet recalls. He said the “vast majority of those products that were recalled were the result of a design flaw in Mattel’s design, not through a manufacturing flaw in China’s manufacturers.” He said, “Mattel takes full responsibility for these recalls and apologises personally to you, the Chinese people, and all of your customers who received the toys.”

If you want to manage and lead well, it means having to say you’re sorry when you mess up. You need the respect of those to whom you provide direction and guidance. 

If your actions are merely to ensure you never receive blame for any mistakes, gaining that vital respect is unlikely to be achieved. Forget about your ego. Go ahead, say you’re sorry!

I’m sorry, Elton, but sorry is certainly NOT the hardest word!

Perils of hiring family and friends

My friend’s business is in shambles. He’s at wit’s end trying to untangle the mess at his office, barely a year after entering the often treacherous arena of hiring family and friends to help grow his food business. Despite getting a few close friends and relatives with vast experience and good connections – at least that was what they impressed on him before he hired them – they had let him down terribly. 

Years ago, another friend was in an even worse predicament – he lost not only his business but also a close friend. As he wasn’t that streetwise with the twists and turns of the corporate world, he convinced a buddy to help him run the company. He struggled to build the business only to see his friend betray his trust and friendship by ousting him from the company. His friend’s Brutus act not only cost him the business he worked so hard to build but also destroyed their friendship.

There are countless horror stories on how hiring friends, relatives and even family members can go terribly wrong for businesses. Yes, it’s true employees with a personal connection to the boss “are normally more committed” to the company as they’re often considered trustworthy lieutenants because of that familiarity. Yet, if these relationships are not well managed, they can result in ruined businesses, infighting, decayed staff morale, severed friendships and frayed family ties.

Secret of success

The reality is relationships often start well with excellent mutual understanding, respect and cooperation, as well as strong feeling of camaraderie and open exchange of ideas. Yet, despite all these initial happy moments, things can somehow change as stressful days set in.

Nevertheless, it’s not always downhill for such delicate workplace relationships. That core group could still gel enough to stay together despite the personal and professional road bumps. There are bound to be occasional misunderstandings and heated moments when boss-friend or boss-family relationships threaten to break up when the parties involved don’t agree on work-related matters. If not handled properly, that can spill over and mess up friendship and even family ties.

The good news is many of such workplace relationships have worked out just right after weathering the tough storms. One fine example is my friend Lawrence who has been running a vibrant business for some 20 years and still maintains strong bonds with a few close friends and family members whom he hired to help him in various capacities. So what is his secret of success?

As with many entrepreneurial and workplace issues, there’s no easy-to-follow blueprint on how to work best with friends and family. Lawrence didn’t plunge into it blindly but started off by getting a feel of how a friendship will survive in a business environment by working with some friends on a project basis, but overall, it’s simply a learning process of trial and error.

Lawrence’s time-tested approach with his employees, regardless of whether they’re buddies or even family members, is one of open communication and mutual trust and respect. It’s not enough to go over expectations only during the hiring process. Bosses should meet with their employees regularly to minimise misunderstandings as business grows and employees’ circumstances and expectations change. Those regular open communications can dispel their misconceptions such as “I’m your friend, so you must pay me better than anyone else,” or “I’m your brother, so I think you’ll understand if I take a few days of unrecorded leave to attend to family matters”.

Frank communications

Having those frank communications can be tough but they’re vital to any business and relationship success. Be very clear on expectations as they can be very helpful for everyone, especially when rubber hits the road. In Lawrence’s case, it was hard to do as he has hired some 20 friends and family members over the last 20 years. Not all stayed on but those who did have each served at least 10 years. The golden rule to maintain strong boss-employee friendships is to keep work and personal lives separate. In Lawrence’s words, it means “There’s a line – from 7am to 7pm, they’re my staff, but after 7pm, they’re my friends and family”.

Hiring friends and family members often comes with myriad challenges. You need to handle sticky situations firmly but tactfully. How you handle each workplace situation will depend on a number of factors such as circumstances involved and your management style.

One key area you need to have a firm handle on is nepotism. Be open about nepotism, especially in a family-run business where some employees may get special treatment simply because of their blood ties. That’s okay as long as other employees know that your business has a culture where your children or cousins will receive some privileges. That’s the beauty of a family business as you get to make your own rules. That being said, setting expectations for your friends and family as well as other employees should be your top priority and you should never practise double standards on workplace values and rules such as punctuality, integrity, loyalty and diligence.

Issues of morale

Another critical area you should be acutely conscious of pertains to morale. If the top positions in your company are occupied by or traditionally reserved for close friends and family members, other employees may lose their drive to strive for more. Their morale may be affected as they may think: “What future do I have with the company if the top rungs are always occupied by the owner’s close friends and family”. Such barrier – either real or perceived – that limits employees’ upward mobility in your company could be a major push factor that encourages them to seek greener pastures.

To avoid unnecessary sticky situations arising from hiring friends and family, bosses should preferably not involve themselves in the hiring process. Let the human resources department handle it based on clearly-defined guidelines and staff requirements. Select the best possible candidate based on the education, skill sets and interests of each potential employee, and not on nepotism.

If you really need to hire family members or friends for whatever reasons – for example, your controlling wife tells you to do so because he’s your brother-in-law – be a realist. Before hiring any of them, consider the worst-case scenario. Ask yourself: “If it doesn’t work, what does that look like and how are you going to get out of it?”

What do you do once you’ve family members or friends on board? Apart from setting and managing the expectations for them, all parties involved must be clear on family roles at work. As the boss you need to decide whether you prefer to be called dad, uncle Chong or boss – and then let those family members or friends on board know. Personally, I prefer the more professional honorifics – Mr/Madam, Datuk/Datin, or just boss.

Hiring family and friends to work for you can be either a boon or bane. Before you embark on this often treacherous path, think hard on the pros and cons, and how you’re going to handle those inherent sticky issues. They can either make or break you! 

Nice may not be good and kind

New research confirms that greater employee happiness results in higher productivity without sacrificing quality. Researchers did a number of experiments to test the idea that happy employees work harder, and they found happiness made people about 12% more productive.

The research concludes that companies like Google have invested more in employee support and employee satisfaction has risen as a result. For Google, it rose by 37%; they know what they’re talking about. In scientifically-controlled conditions, making workers happier really pays off.

In light of today’s economic landscape, it’s more important than ever for companies to have happy employees as they’re generally more productive. When employees are loyal and engaged in the company, profits are higher. Conversely, when people feel unmotivated or undervalued, the company suffers. Additionally, studies show that engaged employees miss work less, perform better and are more supportive of changes as well as willing to make them happen.

Keeping employees happy in any economy is hard work because happiness is, primarily, an “inside job”. In other words, happiness comes from within a person. However friends, family and employment can add to or detract from someone’s happiness level. So if the workplace is stressful or painful things are happening, such as politicking, back-stabbing and gossiping, employees’ productivity goes down.

Double-edged sword

However, don’t be too quick to jump on the happy bandwagon, proclaiming yourself that nice-guy boss and going out of your way to make every employee happy and content. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re a lousy boss if you fail to make every employee happy and content. Happiness in the workplace can be a double-edged sword. Yes, having happy employees is critical to the success of any company but there’re more ways to make employees happy and content than bending over backwards to put a smile on your workers’ faces. Remember, certain nice-guy tactics can backfire. As with everything else, balance is key to ensuring we cultivate the right kind of happy and contented employees.

Bosses must not subscribe to the myth that employees should be kept happy 24/7. As a boss, you’re neither able to nor expected to be in charge of your employees’ happiness every second of every workday. Everybody loves to be liked – who doesn’t? And unless you’re the type of boss who revels in tyranny, it’s only natural to seek the favour of your employees. But there’s a big difference between engaging with employees and fawning over them.

Probably out of guilt associated with being a strong-handed boss, managers are often afraid to pull rank for fear they’ll fall from grace with their subordinates and spoil team camaraderie. They’re afraid that others will think they’re a jerk so they try hard – in fact too hard, to the point of desperation – and in the process suffer from nice-guy conflicts.

Overly nice overrated

Quite frankly, being overly nice is overrated. Being human, employees have tons of reasons – real, imagined or even made up – for being less than enthusiastic on any given day. If their discontent has something to do with working conditions, you’ve got your work cut out for you. But if it’s something to do with their personal lives, well that’s really not your concern – unless it starts to interfere with their work.

If you want to be an effective – as opposed to good – manager, you must debunk the common myth that the nice-guy boss is the best kind of boss. Resist the temptation to be everybody’s best friend – one who feels honour-bound to wear a smile at all times, say “yes” all the time, be pally with every employee and generally sacrifice objectivity to artifice. Although it may boost your ego, you must keep in mind that being liked and being effective are not always the same thing.

In fact, being a nice-guy boss all the time can be counter-productive and even hurt your effectiveness and image. For instance, if you’re the type who doesn’t want to rock the boat even amidst a tempest at your workplace, your employees won’t bring serious issues to your attention.

If you’re unrealistically positive every day, you’re going to give the impression that you don’t want to hear bad news or receive constructive criticism, however badly it may be needed.

What can you do if you’re caught in this nice-guy boss outlook? You need to accept the fact that being a nice guy may sound noble and some people may compliment you for it but overall, it’s not a healthy or productive way of being. Even after you realise being nice doesn’t always work, the nice-guy paradigm will exist in your cognitive schemes, from where it influences your thinking and disempowers you. You’ll need to consciously change your thinking and weed it out.

I’m not advocating you should not be a positive, well-liked and optimistic boss; the danger comes when replacing things like objectivity and honesty with artifice. Focus on creating an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect, rather than on being liked no matter what. You’ve a choice of management styles to apply and while you’ll probably find that some combination will get you the best results, there’re still stereotypes that you want to avoid and one of them is the nice-guy-boss syndrome.

Okay to disagree

To be an effective boss, you must stop agreeing with everyone and everything. However, this doesn’t mean you should disagree or argue for its own sake; instead be your true self, with your own opinions and preferences. Let’s say a team member comes to you with a totally different opinion of how a certain project should be carried out, which you think is too time-consuming; you need to disagree with him and explain why.

Of course, don’t be an obnoxious, tyrannical, bad-guy boss by lecturing him that it’s your way or no way. Not every disagreement is an argument and a difference of opinion can lead to interesting discussions in which you learn a great deal about how a person thinks and feels. Hear him out respectfully so that he doesn’t feel you’re being difficult.

Remember, you don’t have to be a people-pleaser to be a good boss. Don’t bend over backwards just to accommodate everyone except yourself. It’s okay to be a kind person who loves to help others but don’t be so humble that you become a slave to everyone else’s needs and expectations. Strive to form mutually-beneficial relationships with your employees, colleagues, customers and others with whom you interact in the course of your work.

Learn to say no, especially when you don’t feel comfortable doing something or if you feel it doesn’t benefit the other party. As the saying goes, you need to be cruel to be kind – at least occasionally.

Watch out for manipulative employees who will make you feel guilty in a very subtle way, to influence you to say “yes” to them. Draw the line clearly so that these workplace shenanigans don’t exploit your soft and weak spots.

Do be nice if you must but beware of nice-guy tactics as they may backfire. Remember, being nice is not always good – balance it with firmness, assertiveness and even “cruelty” to be kind! 

Underpromise but overdeliver

You may recall a few weeks before iconic Apple co-founder and CEO Steve Jobs died in 2011, the giant tech company’s stock dropped a few percentage points. It wasn’t Jobs’ death that brought the valuation down as it was already factored into the stock market years ago when news of his sickness first surfaced. The stock dropped because the market expected something and didn’t get it.

In essence, Apple didn’t deliver on its promise. Each year Apple holds a conference. Every event is exciting because of new product announcements, usually revealed during the CEO’s presentation, which before his death, was always handled by Jobs. The speculation then was the expectation of the announcement of the iPhone 5. Instead of the iPhone 5, Apple’s raving fans received news on the iPhone 4s, an upgrade to the phone already on the market. The industry was less than impressed with this and thus Apple’s stock was sold.

One of my golden rules in consultancy work is to underpromise and overdeliver, NOT overpromise and underdeliver. Underpromise and overdeliver is the mantra everyone should live by. On the other hand, overpromise and underdeliver is a culture we should avoid. To illustrate this, let’s say a writer confidently tells his editor: “I’ll get my article ready in two hours.” Two hours later, he’s still struggling with the opening paragraph. His editor pops over to check on things and finds to his utter horror the writer’s still figuring out how to even start his article. Well, I won’t blame the editor if he were to lose his cool.

Promises date back to time immemorial. They represent a complex social norm and when we break them, the consequences can be disastrous. In the above example, the writer has made an ambitious promise but failed to live up to it. In other words, he has overpromised – which is to get the article ready in two hours – but ended up underdelivering. Had the writer promised his editor he could get his article ready in two hours and surprised him by getting it ready in under an hour, he would have exceeded his editor’s expectations. This is the essence of underpromising and overdelivering – you set the expectations or bar low and then exceed it.

Managing customers’ expectations is a key concern of most, if not all, businesses. When customers pay you for something and they don’t get what they expect, that’s when they reach for the refund button. We all know how important it is to understand customers’ expectations, but the sad part is many don’t know how to manage those expectations and deliver.

The art of understanding the customers’ expectations and then underpromising and overdelivering is no rocket science – it’s simple and effective. Let’s say, it’s Monday morning and a customer presents you with a requirement – he wants it completed by Friday and believe the cost should be RM1,000. You quickly assess his requirement and believe it’ll take 15 hours of work and will cost RM500. You don’t promise the customer it’ll be completed on Wednesday and will cost RM500. You prepare a proposal or job sheet with a detailed scope and tell the customer you’ll deliver on Friday and the cost will not be more than RM1,000. What you’ve done is simple – you’ve committed to meeting the customer’s expectations and nothing more. The customer is pleased and signs off on the job sheet.

Customers will love you

On Wednesday, you call the customer and notify him his request has been completed and you’re ready to deliver, and the cost is just RM500. Bravo! You’ve just successfully managed the customer’s expectations, exceeded those expectations and have therefore underpromised and overdelivered. If you do this often enough, I believe all your customers will fall in love with you. As customers ourselves, we love to be treated that way too, right?

Expectations are largely based on what has come before. Hence, it’s important for you to know what the accepted benchmarks and best practices are in your industry and how you can do better. Review how your competitors solve the problems your business solves, and find a better and more reliable – and of course cheaper – way to do it. In essence, you strive to exceed the bar and if you do it often enough, your credibility and that of your organisation will soar!

Just a word of caution though. Beware of danger – it’s not the overdelivering part that is dangerous. Overdelivering and wowing your customers is good business as it increases customers’ satisfaction, repeat business and word of mouth which all lead to referrals. It’s the underpromising part that could be deadly.

What do I mean by this? Let’s say you put a sign on the door of your deli proclaiming “we’ll brew your favourite coffee in less than an hour for just RM5.50”, thinking you’re underpromising to get the coffee ready in about an hour and then surprise your customers by overdelivering in just 10 minutes. No one is going to get excited about a weak promise. If your initial offer isn’t strong, then don’t expect to stand out from the crowd. Yes, exceeding customers’ expectations is awesome – it’s great for business. But to get a chance to overdeliver you must first excite them with your promise. And make sure it’s a jolly good one!

Staff interaction

Underpromising and overdelivering is equally vital for day-to-day staff interactions. If you as a manager promise your team a 10-day trip to the Caribbean if you hit your annual sales target, but then bring them to Phuket for a three-day holiday when the target is achieved, you’re in for trouble. If you still don’t get it, you’ve just messed it up by overpromising and underdelivering!

One of the major pitfalls of management is managing expectations of potential recruits. It’s natural to do everything you can to convert a potential candidate you’re interested in. However, mistakes made during recruitment and the subsequent onboarding stage can lead that person to leave early.

Recently, a friend left his job after three years with a family-owned company. He had spent four months looking for a job and deciding that one was the right fit as it came with 30% more pay and promise of another 25% increment upon confirmation, and a company car. During the interview, the company had represented itself as a market leader, growing quickly and had a great working environment. But after joining it, he found out it wasn’t. It was growing but slowly, and wasn’t even a major player in the industry but had only 5% market share.

His new boss was aloof and hardly mixed with the staff. Working conditions were bad and there was no culture of hanging out together. To add salt to his wound, he wasn’t given any increment upon confirmation and no company car was in sight! Four months later, he quit to return to his previous company.

So how did the company lose a talent it spent months recruiting? Its main mistake is all too common in today’s marketplace: overpromising and underdelivering. The company lost not only a talent, but also its credibility. So think twice before you promise! 

Avoiding rude surprises

As a business consultant, I’m very particular about managing expectations – what I expect from my clients and what they can expect from me. This is basically to avoid any rude surprises from either side, and also to ensure my clients and I maintain a healthy and rewarding relationship. However, I must admit that managing expectations can be energy-sapping at times as there are many dimensions to it, and to make matters worse, human nature is so unpredictable.

Managing expectations is probably one of the most underrated and underutilised skills at the workplace. Not everyone does it, but maybe if more did, we could avoid a lot of the day-to-day drama that goes on in many offices. I believe those who know how to manage expectations are in a better position to navigate the choppy waters of their business too.

Failure to manage expectations can have serious implications. For instance, routinely failing to live up to expectations can make a person or organisation look bad, especially when the person or the organisation sets those expectations. Products that are routinely delivered late, projects that are never completed, and deadlines that are never met are a sure way to infuriate bosses and customers alike. That is why the golden rule of expectation management is to underpromise and overdeliver, NOT overpromise and underdeliver. And if you do this often enough, others will surely be delighted with you.

Set clear expectations

Offices will definitely be a more joyful place to work in if managers learn to set clear expectations and ensure each team member understands how he’ll be held accountable if he fails to deliver the desired outcome. I bet you too would be infuriated to finish a certain task only to discover it isn’t what your boss expected. Many day-to-day problems at our workplace can be traced back to ambiguous expectations.

Setting clear expectations is not something that is overly difficult or magical – unless you as a manager don’t really know or understand the future state, results or outcome desired when managing your team members.

In order to set clear expectations for your team members, you must first and foremost be clear on what you want. For example, you need to know what is the desired outcome or deliverable you expect from each team member. Once you’ve a concrete handle on the specific outcome you desire to see, communicate that clearly to the person or group responsible for that task. Clearly state what you want to see as an outcome, the timeline – including any specific deadline – for achieving that outcome, and how you want the outcome presented or delivered, for example in a spreadsheet or PowerPoint. Better still, put your expectations in writing and email to each team member outlining each individual task and desired outcome. Giving others a picture of what you think success looks like will give them confidence to move forward.

A key step in setting expectations is to create an opportunity for feedback and questions so that the person or group can fully digest and understand the desired outcome. Very often managers and employees alike get into hot water when they assume others know what they expect or even what they’re talking about. They merely assume someone has the same understanding of a situation, task, deadline or project. To avoid any misalignment of expectations, the golden rule is never assume as you “make an ass out of you and me” because that’s how it’s spelt.

Ask questions

As a manager, how do you ensure you and your team members are on the same wavelength? One effective way is to ask clarifying questions like “Do you have any questions?”, “Do you need more information before you start?”, “Is there something else you need to get this done?” or “Are there any specific resources you need?” Even if you don’t get any feedback initially, follow up closely and welcome any feedback or questions during the process to ensure everyone is moving in the right direction. A common pitfall among managers is to wait until the last minute to check on things, and then realise the person or team is totally off tangent, by which time it’s too late!

Once you’ve set and communicated the expectations to your subordinate, avoid managing the “how”. Unless it’s absolutely necessary that someone achieves an outcome using a specific process, it’s best not to manage ”how” things are being done. Let the person decide how he wants to go about achieving the outcome. Don’t fall into the trap of micro-managing as this is not what empowerment is all about.

Having said that, there are certain situations where you must specifically relate “how” one should do something, for instance, when the person is new and requires guidance as he has not done the task before, or you’re asked a specific question relating to how the task should be done.

By not meddling on “how” a certain task is to be carried out, you’re also empowering the employee to find the best way to accomplish a task and some new improvement in best practices may arise because of this, which will in turn improve efficiency and productivity, and also boost staff morale.

As a manager, one of your key tasks is to be a resource in terms of removing obstructions or overcoming obstacles as reported to you from time to time. The employee must be assured of your guidance and assistance to carry out the task, for instance, in finding the necessary resources to get the job done. Much as you want your team members to be resourceful and take initiative, however, occasionally they’ll need your vast experience, connections or specific skills and knowledge to handle certain issues.

Manage the outcome

An important aspect you should also focus on is managing the outcome. Never abdicate your accountability for outcomes. Of course, that doesn’t mean you just do it yourself if you don’t see any progress. Don’t do it as it’s terribly bad for staff morale! Your role is to manage the outcome which involves clarifying information, helping to address issues or remove obstacles encountered, motivating and inspiring, and, if necessary, enlisting more help to ensure the desired outcome is achieved.

How do you stay connected with your subordinate or team so that you’ve the opportunity to continue managing the outcome of any task or project? An effective way which I often use is setting milestones as a means of predetermining specific points to interact with the person or team. Milestones are normally set based on progress points during a task or project, but you can also set specific dates as milestones.

By holding frequent check-ins throughout the course of a task, your team members can provide real-time status updates which will provide you the opportunity to manage any delays, risks or obstacles. You’ll also have the flexibility to make new decisions or adjustments to your original plan or put plan B in place, if need be.

Managing expectations is a two-way traffic. Employees have a vital role to play and they must make sure they understand exactly what is expected of them. Never assume you and your boss are on the same page. Understand in detail what the desired outcome is, what your priorities are and what will be considered a success according to your manager’s expectations.

Before embarking on your assigned task, seek clarity with your manager. Ensure continual open communication with your manager for both parties to gauge progress, assess risks and adjust actions. By keeping your boss in the loop, it also ensures he’s aware of your progress and, if necessary, make certain adjustments and keep you on track.

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